Feelings -

Exhaustion:

• Many young people say they feel very tired (emotionally and physically), unmotivated, and/or drained.

Anger:

• Some young people feel very angry.

• This anger may be directed towards the situation, the loss, the unfairness of life, yourself, and/or other people they may feel could be responsible for the loss.

Sadness:

• Crying and sadness is a core part of the feelings of grief and loss.

• Not everyone experiences crying, there is no right or wrong.

Anxiety:

• Some young people feel stressed and anxious.

• Others may feel very alert and on guard thinking something bad may happen. 

• This can accompany feelings in your body like tense muscles and your heart beating faster than usual.

Apart from others:

• Many young people talk about feeling alone or disconnected from other people and find it difficult to talk with them about their loss.

• People may fear judgement, creating awkwardness, or burdening others, or an assumption that others do not want to hear about your challenges in coping with loss.

• Young people may think others won’t understand or be able to relate to what they have been through.

• It can be hard when people say nothing at all and don’t mention the loss or say things you may find upsetting.

Shame:

• Sometimes young people may feel ashamed about their situation after loss.

• Jordan reported feeling ashamed about their Dad who died in a car crash and was reported to have been drinking and driving at the time.

• Young people can worry about feeling different to their friends after loss, or shame because of thinking they shouldn’t feel the way they do, accompanied by self-critical thoughts like ‘what’s wrong with me’.

Guilt:

Young people can often feel guilty after a loss for various reasons, including:

• Believing that they may have had some part in it or should have done something to prevent it. 

• Regretting the things they may have said, or did not say, for example, not having a chance to tell their loved one how much they loved them, or after a relationship break-up, thinking they should not have shouted at their partner so much.

• Not grieving the way they think they should be, or how others around them are.

• Having fun, or feeling happy after a loss.

Relief:

• Sometimes young people can feel relief or other positive feelings.

• Positive feelings and relief are not inappropriate, it is normal after a loss. For example, Taylor felt some sense of relief after Nanna died that she was not suffering anymore.

Feeling unwell:

• Sometimes young people can feel sick, like having an upset stomach from the stress after loss.

Numb:

• Sometimes after grief people can feel numb or an absence of feelings, this is common and a normal response.

  Now its your turN!

In what ways have grief and loss affected your feelings?